I Thought I Must Give Up on Life

I thought I must give up on life
And turn into a stone;
The desert wind quite suited me:
No heart, no mind--just bone.

I thought it would be dumb to try
To want something again;
Wanting turns to need, and then
Transmogrifies to pain.

I laughed at people still in love
Who trusted someone's word;
To make my happiness depend
On faith seemed quite absurd.

I lay alone and wonder-struck,
Sleepless in my bed,
Still numb, still dumb, still ice, ice cold,
Not knowing I was dead.

And then you came and shone upon
My meadow full of snow,
And saw the flowers only love
Could recognize and grow;

And made me feel so beautiful
I shed my cold, cold skin,
And opened up my heart to you,
And, fearful, let you in.

And now, my dear, I am in love,
With all that I've been through.
I know the worst of all the world,
And I believe in you.

Nicholas Gordon