instruction manual for love

ph: weheartit

Here is my story, as of now, in the middle of the now:

Now is one of those times I so desperately wish I had an instruction manual for love. Because I really don't want to mess up on this one. On this guy.

We met at a party, he's the friend of a friend. We drunkenly talked all night. There was a major, stomach-lurching connection. He was so cute and so charming. Then he kissed me. And I pulled away. Me, the girl who loves kissing more than any other aspect of physical love, I pulled away from his kiss. The spark was so overwhelming, I could barely handle myself, never mind the fact that I was pretty drunk. We kissed twice more before a friend pulled me aside and told me in no uncertain terms that she'd had a crush on him for a long time. My drunk self overreacted and went home with a guy friend who was leaving then.

Did it look like I totally ditched the chemistry boy for the guy friend? Absolutely. So I did something any girl would do, and took the leap and sent him a message via facebook. I told him I didn't want things to go too far but he was practically charming the pants off of me, so I left before I messed things up. I never got a response to my message.

Flash forward two weekends and he showed up at the end of the night for a friend's birthday celebration. He gave me a big hug on the dance floor before retreating to talk with a friend from out of town. Then I got stepped on while dancing, so I decided to go talk to him. Again, incredible connection, great conversation until we got kicked out of the area we were talking in. We got split up and went our separate ways for the night.

This is the point I get to with men. I meet them, they seem interested, and then where does it go from there? Nowhere. I can't figure out the way to make a move and strike the balance between not seeming too desperate or needy and actually wanting him to know that I really do give a damn about what happens between us.

This is when I'd give anything to have a piece of paper that just says simply "Do this: Say this: Then kiss him. Then fall in love. The end." But that would be too damn easy, wouldn't it?