Love Quotes, Love Images, Sayings

• Men are like vacations...They never seem to last long enough• I believe in safe sex...I've got a handrail around the bed • Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?• I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight• You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me • All those who proclaim that dog is man's best friend, have evidently not played with a

I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him? It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you’ll wind up naked. You know you're

• Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range. -Scott E. Roeben• Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring. -S. J. Perelman • Not only is life a bitch, but it is always having puppies. -Adrienne Gusoff• I'm definitely claustrophobic. I have

Christianity started out in Palestine as a fellowship; it moved to Greece and became a philosophy; it moved to Italy and became an institution; it moved to Europe and became a culture; it came to America and became an enterprise.~Sam Pascoe, American scholar. Preach the Gospel at all times, and when necessary, use words.-- Francis of Assisi. And I pray that you, being rooted and

Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket. Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time. Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be. The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure. A great leader's

A whistling girl and a crowing hen always come to some bad end. Never give the devil a ride, he will always want to drive If God leads you to it, he will lead you through it. I refuse to tip toe cautiously thru life only to arrive safely at deaths door. Cry when you need to, laugh when you can.Either way the sun comes up tomorrow on

Plan your work and work your plan. -Napolean Hill Inspiration may be a form of super-consciousness, or perhaps of subconsciousness -- I wouldn't know. But I am sure it is the antithesis of self-consciousness. I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul. -William Ernest HenleyThe greatest inspiration is often born of desperation. You can learn

Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you.There is no old age. There is, as there always was, just you.Old age is always 15 years older than I am.I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.I grow more intense as I age.About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old

» Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.- Ashleigh Brilliant » It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.- Paul Newman » It's a catastrophic success. » I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.- Stephen Bishop » History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all

Here lies, All cold and hard,The last damn dog,That pooped in my yard! *** It was a CoughThat carried him Off It was a Coffin They Carried him Off In *** On an attorney’s tombstone: Goembel John E.1867-1946 "The defense rests" *** Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me For not rising. Ruidoso, New

Life without danger is a waste of oxygen. I fought the lawn, and the lawn won! Life in a vacuum sucks You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless mailed Two wrongs are only the beginning. You're only young once; you can be immature f'ever. "Suicide Hotline...please hold." All work and no play, will make you a manager. As I said before, I never repeat myself. A

Roses are red, some willows weep, please leave your message, after the beep"Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished."I'm not here, so say goodbye, or leave a message, and I'll reply"Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your

He: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"She: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."He: So what do you do for a living?She: Female impersonator. He: "Is this seat empty?"She: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down." He: "So, wanna go back to my place?"She: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?" He: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"She: "It's in the phone

Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you. You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] ... I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, "sugar" on it and say, "You dropped your nametag!". What does it feel like to be the most beautiful

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.-Kaiser Wilhelm "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."-Henny Youngman"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"-Brian O'Rourke BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX

Noo these windows are ok to lean on. Don’t worry it has airbags. Hey what’s that buzzing noise? Don’t worry its not that deep.One time at band camp. No, he doesn’t bite?Hey look a light at the end of the tunnel. I can pass this guy. My brakes are fine. Nice doggy. I think it's

If i could be anything i would like to be ur tearsso i could born in ur eyes and die in ur lipsIn the end we always return to the peoplewho were there from the b.e.g.i.n.n.i.n.gWhen people lauugh and ask me what I see in you..I laugh and tell them everything you dont.Is it you I want or just the notion of a heart to wrap aroundso I can find my way around.You come to love not by finding the

"........all the missions in the world ,all the tasks are performed by good speakers rather thengood writers...."~ADOLF HITLER It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives

"Some people say that I must be a terrible person, but it’s not true. I have the heart of a young boy in a jar on my desk"-Stephen King "Woman are meant to be loved, not to be understood".-Oscar Wilde "Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle." - Bob Hope "Commit the oldest sins, the newest kind of ways." - William Shakespeare "Husbands are like fires - they go out

"Crazy is a relative term in my family!""Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich. ""Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.""Procrastinate now, don't put it off. ""Caution, Blind Man Driving. ""All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors

I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.-- Groucho Marx (Duck Soup)All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.-- Steve Martin (Bilko) Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.-- Woody Allen (Annie Hall) Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.-- Bill Murray (What about Bob) You might be a

The great business of life is to be, to do, to do without, and to depart.~John, Viscount Morley, Address on AphorismsWho will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies. ~Erich FrommMy formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to

"A hug is worth a thousand words. A friend is worth more." - Sent by Jasmine Fitzwilliam